Few phrases trigger a cancer patient’s inner rage goblin faster than a cheerful doctor asking, “How are we feeling today?”

This joke captures the exact face you want to make every time it happens —
that dead-eyed, “WE?? Buddy, YOU don’t have cancer” expression.

Because really… who is this “we”?

Are we sharing a body?
Are we tag-teaming nausea?
Are we alternating chemotherapy shifts?
Are we taking turns crying in the shower?

No?
Then it’s not “we.”

The Core Joke

The humor lands because the language is so absurdly mismatched to the reality.

Doctors say “we” as a gesture of compassion.
But for patients?
It sounds like a bad attempt at emotional ventriloquism.

You’re sitting there with:

• bone-deep fatigue

• unpredictable side effects

• a medical chart thicker than a Harry Potter book

• fears you haven’t even said out loud

Meanwhile the doctor — rested, moisturized, well-fed, wearing a fresh lab coat — smiles warmly and asks:

“How are we feeling?”

And all you can think is:

“We are feeling homicidal.”

Why This Joke Resonates

Because cancer creates a massive empathy gap.

Your doctor sees your symptoms.
You feel your symptoms.

Your doctor reads your chart.
You live your chart.

Your doctor observes the waves.
You’re drowning in them.

So when they use “we,” it feels…
misplaced.
awkward.
a little ridiculous.
and honestly? Kind of funny.

The Deeper Meaning

The joke points to a bigger truth:

Cancer forces you to carry an experience no one else can truly share — not even the people helping you.

Your providers care.
They mean well.
They want to help.

But they’re not the ones:

• waking up nauseous

• battling neuropathy

• losing hair

• losing energy

• losing control

• losing peace

Cancer isolates you in ways people don’t see.

The word “we” tries to soften that…
but sometimes it just highlights it.

Final Thought

If you’ve ever heard “How are we feeling?” and thought,
“Like YOU should choose a different pronoun,”
this joke will feel like a warm hug.

Or, at minimum, a long-overdue eye roll.